Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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