you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
