didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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