Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
