Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
