Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
