He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Randomize
