i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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