I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
