I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
