physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
