dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
