wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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