yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
