i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
