People in love make me want to vomit
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
bring money and cleavage
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
