i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
