OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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