I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
