You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Who died my cat blue again?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
