Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
