yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
