forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
whose ass print is on the piano?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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