bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
