that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Acid is not a monday night drug
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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