Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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