see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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