did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Pooping to opera.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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