I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
