I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
