he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
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Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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