Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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