I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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