Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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