so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
