how can u be prego again
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
