I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I smell like Dick and happiness
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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