when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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