I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
