I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
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