I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Im part way to drunk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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