I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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