I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
