He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
