I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
