Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
