I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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