What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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