3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
