he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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