That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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