You're my little dorito
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Randomize
