Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
