i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
