Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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