sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
