She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
