I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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