i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
