You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
