so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
