Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
