I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
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So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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